Antiques Freaks

It's our very first antiques cryptid! George Hepplewhite, the mothman of cabinet-makers. Alice Hepplewhite, the sandhill crane of cabinet-makers. And Sheraton, the extremely bitter conspiracy theorist with Chapstick in his pocket. Of cabinet-makers. Learn all about a furniture maker so fiercely private he may never have existed. With bonus snark regarding the "Lost" Colony of Roanoke.

Explosions! Drugs! Art theft! But most importantly, antiques! It's all there in this 2014 Pulitzer prize winning novel shortly to become a major motion picture. From cutting up lines with your Christie's card to lovingly refurbishing Queen Anne highboys, there's only one solution: be gay, do crimes.

Turn that frown upside-down and learn how these irons got so danged sad. It probably has something to do with the highly flammable fuel tank. Or the extremely impractical swan-on-swan design. Or maybe it's just because it took us until the 20th century to put steam in the darn things. Who can say, really.

It's the one that's not Sotheby's. Behold the fifty-five slide Powerpoint presentation of the Official History of Christie's Auction House as presented on their actual website. Watch in amazement as they break every existing auction record that they just made up and also coincidentally want us to note the French Revolution for no particular reason. Welcome, dear listener, to Christie's Histories, a Christory full of Christie's Mysteries.

You wanna know where the real money is? BANKS! From Tammany Hall to Bill Cypher and everywhere in between, we cover 19th and 20th century cast iron banks. (Thanks to listener Stephen for suggesting this episode topic! Sorry about all the vaping.)

Behold the glorious solarpunk futurepast! Urban gardening flourishes in 19th century England. We've got rhododendrons, roses, and toxic smog. Time to invent the Wardian case and come down with a nasty infection of pteridomania. In conclusion, ferns. See also: the Crystal Palace.

What do the Salem witchcraft trials, Route 66, and the economic crises of the 1890s have in common? Spoons. Let's get some. Now with bonus yelling about Ripper Street!

A listener suggestion sends us down a rabbit hole of arcane rites and mysterious symbols. What brings together the Arts and Crafts movement, Gothic Revival architecture, the Book of Kells, 17th century English pageantry, medieval cathedrals, memento mori, Nicholas Cage's Wicker Man, and the ancient cults of Bacchus, Dionysus, Pan, and Silvanus? THE GREEN MAN. (Brought to you by Lady Raglan.)

You deserve the best, most buttery-soft cast iron available. You will find it in the Griswold family of products. It's more than just self-defense implements. And it's not because the metal was more bad in the future.

Once upon a time, ancient Romans began the tradition of catching their tears in tiny glass bottles, a tradition which the Victorians carried on throughout the nineteenth century. OR DID THEY? Learn the lies behind the lachrymatory!

Put the spider on the cross. Cleanse your sins with fire and lye. The time has come to join the Cast Iron Cult.

What do the Red Barn Murder, the Murders at Stanfield Hall, the Bermondsey Horror, and the Prince of Poisoners have in common? They're all immortalized in Staffordshire pottery! Because the only thing the Victorians loved more than murder was knick-knacks.

A bubble that will never burst! Enter the realm of the tube-benders, and join the noble gases on their quest to light up the night!

I Am A Woman (In Love With a Woman - Must Society Reject Me?) and other fantastical tales from the Isle of Lesbos! The true story behind Beebo Brinker! Which man had his fictional protagonist read his nonfiction tome? Which woman pretended to be a literary agent to represent herself several times over? And just how much is The Price of Salt? There is only one answer sufficient for all these questions: Harold, they're lesbians.

Antiques Roadshow stars behaving badly! Twins bidding against each other! Auction fever blazing! What harm can one or three Coors Lights do? Join us on this wild ride.

What if one of the founding fathers of America had bought wine in Paris? And what if a bottle of that wine happened to show up at a Christie's auction? And what if no one questioned its veracity until it was too late? All these inquiries and more answered on this very special episode, where we drag billionaires into the dirt where they belong.

How does one tiny New England town go from chair-making to sewing machines to steam-powered cars in just one century? Come along with us on a wild journey through the history of the New Home Sewing Machine Co.!

Do you wish your door would move less? We may just have a solution. CAST IRON DOOR STOPS! Special shout out to #brickclub.

It begins with John James "Bonkers for Birds" Audubon and ends with the Migratory Birds Treaty Act. With some pit stops along the way for Teddy Roosevelt, Virginia Woolf, and the Audubonnet. Vintage fashion is wild, y'all. Almost as wild as all these dead birds! Seriously, entire hummingbird corpses for earrings. It's bananas.

It's time to learn about Louis Comfort Tiffany, the Gilded Age glassware mogul who contributed almost no creativity to the company that bears his name!