Antiques Freaks

Wuthering Heights (2026)

Emerald Fennell has thoroughly Wuthered our Heights. Let's get into it.

Organizations and Friends - The College Freshman’s Don't Book (1910)

How to make friends and influence people? Consider sitting down and shutting up! All this and more in this tome of Edwardian university advice.

Ch. 56 - Varney the Vampire, or, The Feast of Blood (1845)

Our friend Olivia rejoins us for the chapter wherein the Bannerworths FINALLY LEAVE THE DAMN HALL! (Except for George, who is left behind Home Alone style.)

Varney the Vampire is a genuine penny dreadful, read aloud one chapter per week just like the original Victorian audience would do for the authentic 1840s coffeehouse experience.

To instantly unlock over a hundred more chapters (literally), check out our Patreon.

Egg Beaters - Antique, Vintage, Manual, and Hand-Crank

To stiff peaks, you say? (Alternatively, “Archimedes screw? I ‘ardly know ‘er!”)

The Beetle Hunter by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (with Terrible Book Club!)

Wanted: beetle hunk available for 24/7 free use, $20/day. It’s another wild story from the author of Sherlock Holmes, read aloud with commentary from our friends Chris and Paris of Terrible Book Club!

On Lectures - The College Freshman’s Don't Book (1910)

Do you really need to do all the assigned reading? How about performance enhancers in an academic setting? And what becomes of those students who fail to devote themselves to learning? Find out all that and more in this tome of Edwardian university advice!

Car Vases, Hearse Vases, and Limo Vases

Wherein a new record is set for most times Ken says “oh no” in a single episode! Welcome to interior design for early automobiles.

Ch. 55 - Varney the Vampire, or, The Feast of Blood (1845)

Our friend James Wake returns for a thrilling chapter of wacky larks with the lads!

Varney the Vampire is a genuine penny dreadful, read aloud one chapter per week just like the original Victorian audience would do for the authentic 1840s coffeehouse experience.

To instantly unlock over a hundred more chapters (literally), check out our Patreon.

Dress and Dining - The College Freshman’s Don't Book (1910)

Throw off that tall hat and don’t you dare grow a beard! How does advice to incoming university students fare after over a hundred years? Tune in to find out!

Antiques Cozy Mystery - The Cat Who Turned On and Off by Lilian Jackson Braun

A former crime reporter stumbles into a thriving antiques underworld in this cozy mystery featuring cats—a startlingly warm and vivid portrait of a culture we know well.

Ch. 54 - Varney the Vampire, or, The Feast of Blood (1845)

“Do you know anything of yonder fire?”

“Yes: I do know it is a fire.”

Varney the Vampire is a genuine penny dreadful, read aloud one chapter per week just like the original Victorian audience would do for the authentic 1840s coffeehouse experience.

To instantly unlock over a hundred more chapters (literally), check out our Patreon.

Kissing Balls

Our most blasphemous episode yet! Learn all about the Christmas mistletoe decorating tradition that is definitely Victorian, probably Georgian, and almost certainly not medieval.

Antiques Fraud: Gone with the Wind Lamps

An alternative to the more practical kerosene hurricane lamps—and more properly called parlour lamps or chamber lamps—it’ll take more than a stiff breeze to knock these 19th century marvels over. But what are they, really? And where did they come from? Who sent them? What do they want? Plus, Dee’s true feelings on Fenton.

Ch. 53 - Varney the Vampire, or, The Feast of Blood (1845)

Our friends Abracadaniel and Jon (from our Magic: the Gathering episode!) rejoin us for a thrilling chapter which the author claims will contain THE DESTRUCTION OF SIR FRANCIS VARNEY'S HOUSE BY FIRE. —THE ARRIVAL OF THE MILITARY, AND A SECOND MOB.

Varney the Vampire is a genuine penny dreadful, read aloud one chapter per week just like the original Victorian audience would do for the authentic 1840s coffeehouse experience.

To instantly unlock over a hundred more chapters (literally), check out our Patreon.

Kit-Cat Clocks

The tail twitches and the eyes slide side-to-side as time slips by… Join us for a dip into the wild and wonderful world of mid-century kitsch with Kit-Cat Clocks!

Ch. 52 - Varney the Vampire, or, The Feast of Blood (1845)

Our friend Tarra (who is definitely not a vampire) returns to tackle the fifty-second chapter of Varney the Vampire, wherein the chapter title promises The Interview Between the Mob and Sir Francis Varney, the Mysterious Disappearance, and the Wine Cellars.

Varney the Vampire is a genuine penny dreadful, read aloud one chapter per week just like the original Victorian audience would do for the authentic 1840s coffeehouse experience.

To instantly unlock over a hundred more chapters (literally), check out our Patreon.

The College Freshman’s Don't Book (1910)

How does advice to incoming university students fare after over a hundred years? (Content Warning for irreverent discussion of historical hazing deaths.)

Wade Whimsies

“Furthermore, the circus strongman must be destroyed.” - Cato the Elder, probably.

Ch. 51 - Varney the Vampire, or, The Feast of Blood (1845)

The attack upon the vampyre's house, the story of the attack, the forcing of the doors, and the struggle!

Varney the Vampire is a genuine penny dreadful, read aloud one chapter per week just like the original Victorian audience would do for the authentic 1840s coffeehouse experience.

To instantly unlock over a hundred more chapters (literally), check out our Patreon.

Micro Machines

Maximize your car-per-car with our macro episode on Micro Machines!