Antiques Freaks

According to the Victorians, there's nothing you can't learn from a good book - including how to ride a horse! Tenacious thighs and supple loins combine for a firm "gripe" on the saddle. You WILL wear leather pants. You WILL become a competent equestrian. You WILL learn about how the industrial revolution all-but-severed the working class's relationship to horses - and MORE!

What's the difference between spongeware and spatterware? SO MUCH!

"When this you see, remember me." Engraved coins, or coin love tokens, are a folk art tradition dating back to the 16th century--but things really pop off when Victorians get a hold of it!

Bisque porcelain figurines of children playing in the snow commemorate Peary and Cook's race to the North Pole. It begins with the zuckerpuppen. It ends in Department 56. It's snow babies--RUN!

It's Beanie Babies 2.0! Tune in for your regularly scheduled reminder that collectibles are not investments. Not even if it's an adorable dead-eyed vinyl figurine of your favorite obscure pop culture property.

The perfect expression of affection for your special someone! Whether it be your spouse, your servant, or your sea-captain, a poesy ring is just the thing to declare your eternal devotion. Show the world just how much you like your choice. The cruel seas, remember, took him in November.

The holiday shopping hellscape is upon us! In honor of the season, please enjoy our weirdest customer encounters in 15+ years of selling antiques. Ghost-generating engines, celebrities, possible space aliens, and more!

According to Buzzfeed, everyone photographed in the 19th century was secretly dead the whole time. The truth is somewhat murkier. From Dr. Minovici's forensic Frankenstein to "hidden mother" portraits and the ice-box incident, the Antiques Freaks dive into the ghastly Victorian habit of post-mortem photography. Posing stand not provided.

Jazz up your mixed drinks with swizzle sticks! They come in every shape, size, and color from skulls and spines to swords and Spear-It! All the joy of sorting through bags of conversation hearts with none of the hassle of eating chalk!

Once upon a time, the Smelvin tractor company drew up plans for a magnificent tractor - and then, for reasons unknown, failed to manufacture it. Years later, one enterprising antique tractor collector unearthed these blueprints and decided he would make the forgotten Smelvin a reality. The resulting beautiful Frankenstein's monster of a tractor would tear the tractor collecting community apart. Assuming, of course, that the Forbidden Smelvin ever existed in the first place. Can we really trust r/hobbydrama? Or is this tale of tractor terror just another creepypasta? Take a side in the firetruck/tractor wars this week on Antiques Freaks!

Why are vintage clothes so small? How do we defeat the moth menace? And what even is rayon? Never fret! Holli is here to answer all our questions about vintage fashion and more! And be sure to check out Holli's shop in person at Suffragette City Vintage and online at etsy.com/shop/nonasuch

Prepare yourself for the Halloween elf! Spice up your Halloween party with the riddle of the Brazil nut! It's vintage paper goods all the way down!

DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT OUR CROSSOVER EPISODE WITH TERRIBLE BOOK CLUB! (Episode 70 - Crimson Peak: The Official Movie Novelization)

Chucky, Annabelle, and Robert the Doll have nothing on the extremely haunted clown we just sold on eBay.

Be the Blade you want to see in the world! According to legend, Victorians crazed with vampire fever assembled holy water, stakes, mirrors, and crucifixes to combat the children of the night. Or did they? (No.) That won't stop Sotheby's and Christie's from hawking hoaxes at jaw-dropping prices. Dracula, Carmilla, and Varney the Vampire (Or; The Feast of Blood) combined can't take down the spooky gothic trade of vampire-hunting kits! Sunlight not included.

Millennials are killing the antiques industry! Nobody appreciates "brown" furniture! Prices slashed up to 80% off! Even mid-century modern won't sell now! The New York Times is in a panic and it's up to the Antiques Freaks to get to the bottom of this vintage predicament.

SOURCES - How Low Will Market for Antiques Actually Go? & When the Antiques Have to Go, published in The New York Times.

Just a spoonful of bitters makes the alcohol technically medicine! Join us in learning about this highly sought-after sub-genre of the vintage and antique bottle collecting scene.

In 19th century Germany, porcelain baby dolls are made. In 19th century America, a dubious newspaper article is written. When these creative efforts combine, the end result is a Victorian creepypasta for the young and gay and thoughtless. It's Frozen Charlotte! (With her beau Frozen Charlie along for the ride!)

25% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes! Slavic androgynous Bette Davis! But most important of all, how are the antiques? Dee loved it, Ken hated it, it's time to review the box-office poison adaptation of the Pulitzer prize-winning novel by Donna Tartt: The Goldfinch (2019).

Cons: permanent warping of ribcage and spine, increased risk of pneumonia, aggravated gastro-intestinal issues, weakening of abdominal muscles, rheumatoid arthritis in rib cartilage, death. Pros: looks good on everyone regardless of gender or body shape! We tell you the risks of 19th century fashion, and let you decide whether or not to run out to your local Hot Topic and stock up in time for Halloween.

1891. We return, once again, to Mrs. J. E. H. Gordon's fantastical book, Decorative Electricity (with a Chapter on Fire Risks), for the as-of-yet unheard epilogue. Paddington Station gets electrified. Dynamos are real and also basically volcanoes. Bears remain highly controversial. And through it all, Mrs. Gordon is here to guide us with her own peculiar brand of Victorian sass.